How to Survive a Zoom Office Happy Hour
1. Check background.
If you’ve started your drinking before the actual Zoom conference (likely), make sure your background is not littered with empty bottles/crushed beer cans/shot glasses. Zoom allows you to add some stock backgrounds (palm trees etc) so consider using something event-appropriate.
2. Closely monitor microphone status.
You won’t be able to get away with turning your camera off during the happy hour. But you should mute your mic whenever possible to prevent any inappropriate (tipsy) comments from being heard by colleagues. Turn it on when you’ve got something interesting to add. Keeping the mic off is especially important if you’re using a cocktail shaker, since it’s loud.
3. Don’t yell.
Drunks tend to talk loudly/yell in person, and this will be especially apparent on a Zoom call. Wear headphones if possible, which will also help you modulate your voice.
4. Drink the hard stuff off camera.
Maintain a half-filled glass of wine or a beer visible as your “office” drink, while keeping more potent liquor beyond camera range. Occasionally get up to “check on dinner” as you quickly imbibe the harder stuff, if needed.
5. Keep conversation flowing.
A Zoom happy hour is not like the real thing, with free flowing banter, quick interruptions, and zippy one liners. It’s more of a carefully-timed serial slog—with cocktails. If you’re running the call, make sure you include each participant by saying “So, Jim, how are the kids handling the quarantine?” or “Karen, how’s the home-brewing taking shape?” Just as in real life, some colleagues will be reluctant to talk very much. Inquire, but don’t force.
6. Know when to say when.
At a real happy hour, the bartender can flag you; at home, you’re on your own. If you feel yourself nodding off, feeling woozy, or finding the conversation especially hard to follow, it’s time to politely excuse yourself. Consider setting a timer on your phone for an hour as the happy hour begins. When it goes off, “dinner’s ready” and it’s time to bow out.
Pro Tip
It’s difficult to hide binge drinking from the kids when you’re doing it at home in front of the computer.