How to Tell If Your House is Haunted
Photo by Carlos de Miguel on Unsplash.
In the absence of an actual paranormal encounter with a ghost or demon, it’s important to assess the status of your senses, the behavior of your pets, and the functionality of everyday objects in your home to determine if your house is haunted.
Take a deep breath through your nose and assess the smells in your home.
Pleasant smells (fresh flowers, essential oil) are not likely indicators that your home is haunted, whereas smells of rotting food, flesh, or brimstone/sulfur could indicate haunting. Check your refrigerator for expired food times before freaking out.
Turn on your sinks.
Does the hot water work? Does it sputter? If so, you are probably fine. If your sinks pour ectoplasm, blood, or hot water so scalding it causes blistering, you may have a haunting.
Check out your walls.
If they are merely cracked, or slightly wet and moldy due to leaking or excess moisture you are not likely to have a haunted home. If your walls, like your faucets, are weeping ectoplasm or blood, get out.
Assess your doors.
If they merely creak or accidentally slam open and closed, this is likely the cause of open windows or drafts in your home. If they shake loudly, if bright lights or flames seem to be in the cracks of the openings to the doors when they are closed, or if when opened they seem to lead into utter darkness or a quivering black hellmouth, you will need more than your local handyman for help.
Turn on your television.
If your signal cuts out you are most likely experiencing a simple outage. However, if your channels keep switching by themselves, or if your television begins to speak to you in a high childlike or low demonic voice, it is time to leave—and google “Exorcists, Local.”
Assess the behavior of your own pets and your neighbors’ pets.
If your own pets are barking incessantly at nothing, if neighborhood pets refuse to enter, or if your own pets’ eyes turn angrily red and they begin spitting flame, it is time to make plans for alternate places to stay.