How to Properly Apologize for Anything
Original image by Suzy Hazelwood from Pexels.
1. Begin with the magic words: “I’m sorry….”
Follow up by stating what you believe you did wrong. “I’m sorry I lied about spending our rent money on cocaine,” or “I’m sorry I included that Transgender joke in our Dating Book,” or “I’m sorry I ate your sandwich.”
2. State how bad you feel.
“I feel ashamed about what I did,” or “I am ashamed for being so thoughtless and insensitive.”
3. Say that you understand how they must feel.
“I understand that I have made it harder for you to trust me to manage our accounts,” or “I understand how embarrassed you all must feel,” or “I understand how difficult it will be for you to trust me with your lunch.”
4. Make amends by saying what you will do to correct the situation.
“I will be seeking help for my addiction, and I am borrowing the rent money from my mother so I can cover our payment,” or “I will publicly own up to my mistake, and I promise to never make jokes at the expense of others again,” or “I will make you a new sandwich immediately—what can I make you?”
5. Promise you will not make the mistake again.
“I will be more thoughtful and considerate in the future,” or “I promise only to eat my own food.”
6. Do not expect immediate forgiveness.
When apology recipients say “It’s OK” or “I forgive you” too soon it may be that they are not fully processing or trusting your apology just yet. “Thank you for saying that,” should be enough for you to hear for now.