How to Handle a (Meddling) Parent
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Prepare yourself mentally.
Remember that the holidays are a time for celebration, and try to maintain a positive attitude no matter what triggers your parents may pull.
If your parents give unwanted or annoying advice, be polite and change the subject.
Say “Thank you for your concern and perspective. I’ll have to think about that! But I’d really love to talk about you. Tell me how is ____ going/doing?” Many parents love to talk about themselves and friends.
Avoid confrontation and remember to speak in inarguable truths.
Never respond to a meddling parent with phrases such as “you always,” “you never,” or “you don’t.” Simply say how you feel, and again, change the subject.
“That question makes me feel anxious—my stomach is tight now and I don’t want to ruin the night. I’m thinking we should change the subject.”
Counter negative remarks with positive ones.
If your parent says, “Our house could use a little TLC” say “That’s true—but at least we enjoy it to the fullest!” If your parent says, “When are you going to get a real job?” counter with “I’m making great progress on my novel.”
Avoid the following topics.
Money, politics, religion, and sex. Do not take the bait.
Ask for their opinion on a less-irritating topic.
Meddling parents simply want to show their love and help, and asking for their opinions makes them feel needed. Seek their input on a made-up problem to distract them from more sensitive issues: “I’m thinking of having my ______ done—what do you think?”
Be ready to excuse yourself if things get heated.
Do not say, “I can’t listen to this anymore,” but just excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Finish your drink and say, “I need a refill.” Make no promises to return.
When in doubt, fake an emergency—or connection issues.
“My dog is throwing up—I have to go.”
“I just got a call from _____—he/she is stuck with a flat tire, and I am going to help her/him.”
“Mom? Dad? Can you hear me? You froze—I’ll text you later.”