How to Escape from a Bad Date
Original photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash.
FAKE AN EMERGENCY
Excuse yourself from the table.
Tell your date that you are going to the restroom to “wash up.” Take your cell phone with you. Bring a restaurant match-book or a business card that includes the restaurant’s phone number.
Call a friend or relative for help.
Tell them to call you (either on your cell phone or on the restaurant’s phone) and pretend there has been an emergency. Believable emergencies are:
• Personal Crisis: “My friend just broke up with her husband—she’s having a breakdown. I have to go.”
• Business Crisis: “My boss just called—she’s in Seattle for a major presentation, and has lost all her files. I have to e-mail them to her immediately.”
• Health Crisis: “My sister just called—our grandmother is alone and ill.”
Leave quickly before your date can protest.
Apologize, but refuse any attempt your date makes to accompany you. If you leave swiftly and without hesitation, your date won’t have time to understand what’s happening or to object.
SLIP AWAY UNNOTICED
Identify your escape route.
Observe your surroundings. Take note of the exits, especially the back doors. Look for the best way out and an alternative.
Plan to alter your appearance.
Think about your most distinctive features and figure out how to hide or disguise them. The person you are trying to leave is going to see a figure moving past and away at a distance and will be focusing on the first impression. If you are not familiar to him and are uninteresting, you will not get a second look.
Excuse yourself from the table.
Move to the restroom or any private area with a mirror to begin your transformation. Your date will probably wait only two or three minutes before expecting you to return, so act quickly, before he begins looking for you.
Add or remove clothing.
Layering garments will change your body shape and even suggest a different gender. A long coat will obscure your body type. Hats are especially useful because they conceal your hair and facial features. Eyeglasses, whether added or removed, work wonders. A shopping bag is a handy prop and can be used to hold your belongings.
Change your walk and posture.
If you usually walk quickly, move slowly. If you stand up straight, hunch over. To alter your gait, slip a pebble in one shoe or bind one of your knees with a piece of string or cloth.
Use or remove cosmetics.
Lipstick can change the shape of your mouth, heighten the color in your cheeks and nose, and even give you tired eyes if dabbed and blended on your eyelids. An eyebrow pencil can be used to add age lines, change the shape of your eyes and brows, or create facial hair.
Change your hairstyle or color.
A rubber band, hairspray, water, or any gooey substance can be useful for changing a hairstyle, darkening your hair, or altering a hairline. Borrow flour from the kitchen to lighten or gray your hair color.
Adopt a cover role.
A waiter in the restaurant may have an apron and be carrying a tray. If you can manage to procure these items, add or subtract a pair of eyeglasses and alter your hairline or hairstyle, you can become invisible as you are moving out of the restaurant, into the kitchen, and out the rear door. Or, you can take on the role of a maintenance worker; carry a convenient potted plant out the front door and no one will think twice.
Make your move.
Do not look at your date.